"Haryana is the land of anecdotes...Anybody who says otherwise has never been to Haryana!!!"
-Shardul Bahuguna, A tribute to Haryana
Since the day I landed in Haryana, the state and the fabled JAATS have not disappointed me. They, truly, have lived up to their reputation of carefree, harsh on ears, guzzlers, uncouth but delightfully straight forward though rough and irritating at times.
1) My first truely Haryanvi experience happened in an auto. Small cities like Rohtak still have the shared auto which charges you 10 rupees and plies you from one end of the city to another. What a relief after the organized looters called "autowallahs" of Delhi!! Generally, if people are standing on the sidewalks then the shared autowallas stop and ask them if they would like to take the auto. Interested people get on board while rest refuse and the auto moves on. But not in Haryana!!!!!
I got into an auto on this fateful day. Everything goes according to plan. Autowallah sees 3 prospective passengers, stops, asks if they would like to get in. Unfortunately for them, they refuse. And the Autowallah replies " Jab jana ni hai to road ke side me kyun khada hai?". Add some really rough tone, and proper Haryanvi and it is a crazy sentence.I was flabbergasted!! But the 3 were not. In fact everyone inside the auto including me had a hearty laugh at it.Its Haryana's way of communication, straight, rough and aggressive.
2) Second instance of Haryanvi humour left me dumbfounded. Haryanvi's do have a sense of humour. The only problem is that their tone sounds so rude to people from outside that they often end up offending others. But if you have a funny bone, you would enjoy the peculiar jokes.
Delhi to Rohtak ticket cost Rs. 43 when I joined college. It got raised to Rs. 50 after around a month which I did not know. When I boarded a bus from Rohtak to Delhi, as a good gesture, I offered a Rs. 100 note plus Rs. 3 change to make it easier for the Bus conductor. The instant reply was" Teen rupaye ki toffee khaaon kay??" Neither did he say that the ticket prices had risen nor did he talk about the non-necessity of the 3 rupees. He thought he had simply let fly a sugar-shot at me, Haryana style, but I actually felt that a bolt had pierced my head, end to end.
I had a good laugh at it later when I shared it with my friends.
3)The latest episode talks about the doctors of Haryana. There are very few hospitals and clinic in Rohtak possibly owing to the enviable fitness of the Jaats. So when I finally decided to see a doctor after a week of sickness, it was hard to find a doctor. After asking a few medical stores, we finally got to Dr. X(the name has to be kept under wraps. I dont want to mess up in Haryana. I still have more than an year in Haryana.).
ME:Hello Sir
Doctor- Kya hua
ME: Bukhaar hai
Doctor: Tu Crocin kha le
ME: teen din se kha raha hoon
Doctor: tu 2 din aur kha le
ME: Khansi bhi hai.
Doctor: Tu Benadryl bhi pi le
ME: bas
Doctor: haan haan Crocin kha aur Benadryl pi
No fees.No checkup.He didnt even check my heart beat through wrist! And he is very popular in the city!
When these things actually take place, you may feel shocked. But in hindsight, you die laughing at what had happened.
Haryana rocks!
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